Friday, June 27, 2008

Favorite Photo Friday

In honor of my Brother's birthday this week, I thought I would share some good times we have had with him this year. Here's a pic of Dad, John, and Scott at the University of Tennessee before a football game. That was a great weekend. He will also be running the Peachtree Road Race with John and I. He got suckered into it by John too! Lots of training lately and I have lost anotoher 10 more pounds- whoo hoo!

That's all for now- no adoption update but we have not lost hope and know the time will be right when we are meant to continue our journey.

Have a great weekend!

Monday, June 23, 2008

not so favorite photo...

This is what we woke up to this morning. I noticed it as we were pulling out of the driveway to go to the gym. Terrible. But, it all came off with some goo-gone. Gold spray paint and one police report later, I was headed to work. Thought I would share the pics. They think it is some sort of gang graffiti. We live in a wonderful neighborhood. All our neighbors were stopping by and were very upset at this outcome. Oh, goes on. But you better believe I will be watching out my window for any little noise to try and catch the suckers if they even think about doing it again!!!

No news on the adoption front. I have taken a little paperwork break. Need a real vacation as work has been extremely stressful lately with no time to blog. Also, I have been training very hard every morning and (drumroll!!!) 9lbs shed later...I'm still alive. We are looking forward to our journey picking back up real soon.

Congratulations to ALL the referrals this week and last- gives me such inspiration and hope to see this progress for the children and the much awaited families.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Just Busy

It has been a crazy couple of weeks! I am under the gun with less than 30days until the Peachtree Road Race. SOOOOOO- I have been training- very hard. It is more like a Running boot camp now. John and I have been working out every morning at the track and at the gym and starting this week we will add some swimming. Does anyone see the trend here?!?! I am working my way to a triathlon!

Although I have not signed up for anything yet. I feel the urge to train right now. Given that our adoption is a little slow. We are still paperchasing...again. Plus, the courts will be closing in August and we don't want to risk our paperwork being out of date. So, for now ,we are slowly gathering the information and pushing our "dated" material for later in the summer.

Last week, on Saturday, Wayne Gibson III was welcomed into the world! This is my friend's first child and I was there at the hospital with much anticipation to witness the little guy. HE Is Adorable! The week prior, her sister, Shea also had her 3rd baby boy- Turner! So, it was a big time for celebration, and recovery for my girls. I love them all so much and am grateful I am a part of this precious time in their lives. Can't wait to see these two grow up together...Tripp and Turner :)

Headed out to work. Have a Great Week Everyone. I will post some pics later.

Friday, May 30, 2008

Favorite Photo Friday

Hi There!

Looking forward to a great weekend. John has a Half-Ironman this weekend in Macon. Go Johnny Paycheck :) Here's a pic of my girl Chris and I at dinner last Friday night. We had a great time with a group of co-workers. We have been together since the beginning (of banking) and have decided to never take our friendship for granted!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Do Over!

Well, my biggest fear(about paperwork)came true last week...

We get to do our Home Study ALL OVER AGAIN! Oh boy, I have read of others struggling or should I say drudging through the piles and mounds but I truly felt we were ahead of the game given we had a completed homestudy less than a year old. should actually only be 6 months old-dagumit! In 30 days it will meet that age. So, I will have to admit, I did have 2 maybe even 3 days of self-talk and motivational ideas to try and get me started. Thank goodness it was a long weekend, right?!!?

Well, count me in- I sent out 3 items today to our social worker. Working on the next baby step and hoping to set deadlines that are attainable. Here we go...grow...AGAIN :)

John and I celebrated(however small)last night by going out to eat. We dined at Touch of India and then visited Whole Foods for some Gelatto! That'll get me going :) We did work up quite an appetite doing lots of yard work on Memorial Day(pic below).

Also, Friday night I went out with some work friends to celebrate a promotion. Saturday, we had a block/cul-de-sac party. First one ever! So much fun to get to know our neighbors. We have a VERY diverse community here and I treasure it so much given our addition on the way and how important it will be to us!

Needless to say- way to much good food this past weekend!!! That's alright. I am headed back to Boot Camp tomorrow. I will post some more pics later in the week. So, that's it for now! Back to paperwork pregnancy...whatever you call it:)

Friday, May 23, 2008

Favorite Photo Friday

Ready for vacation anyone?!?! Okay- Well, maybe not a real vacation but how 'bout a 3DAY WEEKEND? Works for me :) I hope you all enjoy the end of this school year, and the true beginning of SUMMER! Cannot wait til this time next year.

Here are our two babies- one Lamb and one Lion. Can ya guess which one is the LION? Looks like a wolf in sheep's clothing if ya ask me :) Much Love.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Family Resemblance

~~~On my lunch break at work and had to post this excerpt I just read. It was a resource from Toni. This is very true and wonderfully enlightening and I can definitely relate to the experience. Thanks so much! Enjoy.~~~

Family Resemblance in Transracial Adoption
by Jana Wolff

At our wedding, friends assured my husband and me that we would create good- looking kids. And we believed them. It's that cloning fantasy: that our future children would be miniature versions of ourselves, inheriting only our favorite features. Not only did I picture a child with my green eyes and his olive skin and thick, black hair; I also assumed she'd have a winning personality and intellect to boot. My dreams left out the combined product of our worst features: big nose, freckles, a long second toe, and a proclivity toward constipation.

So many of our dreams (and fears) got shattered along the way: all that talk about how pretty our kids would be... and it turns out we couldn't even have any. Once we started seriously considering adoption, I wondered if I could feel like a mother to a child who didn't resemble me or my husband.

Much as we all like to think of ourselves as consumed with thoughts more lofty than the issue of appearances, looks play into the emotional process before and after an adoption takes place. Adoption is like a blind date in some ways...a permanent one. Early in the process, both birth parent and child are faceless to potential adoptive parents. Adoptive parents worry that their child will be either ugly, or a dud, or both. They care about looks not because they are hopelessly superficial, but because would-be parents desperately want to fall in love with the stranger who will become their child.

Whether or not you like your own looks, they are familiar, and there is something safe about that. It's almost as if looking alike will ensure a degree of family cohesiveness. Look-alike families are assumed to belong together, but families like ours-who don't match-are seen as curious groupings of individuals. A White woman holding the hand of a little Black boy prompts guessing: His social worker? His baby-sitter? His Black father's White girlfriend? His mother? (No, couldn't be that.)
Parents who choose transracial adoption are willing to become part of an unmatched set, but this does not imply that they have disengaged from the issues of appearance. Once adoptive parents have made the tough decision that they could parent a child of a race different from their own, they've got a more brutal decision to make-this one so distasteful, it's often avoided - a shameless discussion about skin pigmentation: how dark is too dark? Many who cross the color line are willing to do so on a continuum of palatability that often reveals an unspoken yet unconscionable preference for yellow over brown, for brown over black, for light over dark.

So even within a transracial adoption, it seems as if we try to minimize the differences between ourselves and our children. There are many more Asian than African babies adopted by Caucasian parents, as if the yellow-white combination is less transracial than the black-white one. Some of us involved in transracial adoption think of ourselves as somehow superior in the discrimination department, but we demonstrate our colorism by preferring brown children (whether Latino, African American, or mixed race) with European features that look familiar to us, over Black children, who share none of our physical attributes. Bizarre as it sounds, White parents of non-White kids remain wishful about family resemblances.
That opposites attract seems to apply more to personality than appearance. Lots of couples share physical attributes; some even look alike. Blondes gravitate to blondes and brunettes gravitate to brunettes. Does the wish for transracial matching follow a similar dynamic-where like seeks like-or is it outright racism?
I felt like a bigot when I first laid eyes on my son. "He's so dark," I thought, and felt ashamed for thinking it. My racist gut reaction was fueled by gut fear. I was pretty sure I had taken on more than I could handle. Adoption of a White kid would have been enough of a stretch, but we had to go for a baby that not only came out of someone else's body but out of someone else's culture. What were we thinking? What kind of pseudo-Peace Corps types were we pretending to be? All I could think of was that we were too White to be the parents of someone this Black.

Since that unfathomable start, our lives, as members of a transracial family, have grown to feel exactly right. Though no one will mistake the boy sitting next to me as my offspring, he certain feels like my son. A brown child has become familial, so brown children are now familiar. Pink kids look bland to me in comparison to some of the beautiful mixtures we see in children of color, both adopted and not. Is it possible that mixed-race children, like our son, are more beautiful than the population at large? Or does it just seem that way? There may be some kind of reverse preference that occurs in transracial families, but it is not very different from the earlier preference described for brunettes by brunettes. If we perceive our family as a beautiful blend, we see the beauty in others' blends. Or, put more simply, we are attracted to ourselves.

In the first stages of being a family created by transracial adoption, we were aware of how different from our son we looked. As time has gone on and the emotional cement of family has become hardened, we feel unified as a mixed family (even though the world does not always see us as belonging together). Looking nothing like my child is cause for questions and looks, but holds no charge as a threat. We are family. Having said that, it is also true that we take great delight as we encounter the ways we resemble one another. When people say that my son and I have the same smile, my smile gets even bigger.

Even though I was a closet pro-cloner when I first got married, custom designing the image of my offspring, I ended up with a child who is much more beautiful than the one that his father and I would have made. When I think back to my pre-adoption fears - "Could I love a kid who doesn't look like me or us?" and "What if he or she is ugly?" - I know the answers now. I know for certain that you can love a child who doesn't match and that that child will be nothing short of beautiful to you. I also know that you will sometimes forget that you don't look alike.