Okay, I read this posting from another blog today and I wanted to put it out there as well.
It is a bit harsh, and I do not agree or relate to every line. But, I found some comfort by reading it. This posting is for those who are struggling through such a difficult time as trying to become parents. I understand your pain. That's all I will say...
Here are some things that are mentioned to adopting parents…
1.Asking when we will get pregnant
2.Constantly asking about our infertility treatments.
3.Making light of a failed cycle ·
4.Saying that you know exactly how we feel ·
5.Saying everything happens for a reason ·
6.Telling us to relax ·
7. Telling us to just adopt and then we'll get pregnant ·
8.Telling us that adoption is the easy way ·
9. Telling us that everyone goes through this it's no big deal.
10.Minimizing our pain in an attempt to make us feel better ·
11. Complaining about your kids, or saying we can have your kids for a while and then we wouldn't want any ·
12. Telling us to be patient ·
13. Telling a parent who's adopting that "you might still have a miracle baby someday" when in an adoptive parents eyes their child is a miracle baby ·
14. Telling us we are "trying too hard" ·
15. Telling us that you know a person who tried fertility treatments for years, but then they finally stopped and got pregnant all on their own ·
16. Relatives insisting that we go to brunches for a holiday celebration with lots of babies and children around, especially when we are in the middle of a treatment cycle or a miscarriage · Saying, "I just don't understand why you just don't adopt" ·
17. Saying "It's just terrible that you can't have any children, because I don't want to use my nanny five days a week anymore, I only want her two days a week, and if you had already had babies by now, we could have shared my nanny" ·
18. Asking every month what is going on ·
19. Coming right out and asking if we are pregnant because we look like we've gained weight (The medication we have to take typically causes weight gain) ·
20. Telling us every time you hear about a new infertility technique that is available. Believe us, we are acutely aware of what is out there and it gets exhausting to constantly hear about it from others ·
22. Dwelling on your own children's annoying habits or antics it is painful to us to hear people saying things that we would give anything to experience.
23. Realize that seeing, hearing about, or talking to pregnant women can be very difficult even when it's your own sister or best friend.
24. It can be even more difficult to be around pregnant women that are complaining about being pregnant or are unable to discuss anything other than their pregnancy
25. Telling other people the "good news" prior to a positive pregnancy result ·
26. Family members saying how desperately they want to be an aunt, grandmother, etc
27. Speaking of adoption as a second or lesser choice. If the resolution is that we do adopt, then we will always remember those words and feel that our adopted child is second rate. ·
28. Although you are trying to help, saying optimistic things like “there is no problem and you’ll get pregnant soon” actually make things worse. It invalidates the biggest struggle of your life at that time ·
29. Telling us that we're "over-reacting" if we choose to avoid going to church on Mother's Day or choose to avoid baby showers or kid's birthday parties ·
30. Calling us "selfish" for not appearing happy for someone else's pregnancy.
31. Telling us to just deal with it because if we don't deal with it, we won't ever be able to be around pregnant women or little babies ·
32. Forgetting everything we've told you about our treatments and asking us the same questions over and over
33. Asking us to hold your child or touch your pregnant belly for good luck.
34. If you tell us a story about someone you know who went through infertility, that's okay, but don't use it as a way to tell us that "in the end, it will be all right" or "you'11 get pregnant too" ·
35. Telling us how awful your pregnancy was and telling us we're lucky that we don't have to go through it.
36. Listening to you tell us how easy it was to get pregnant and that it was unplanned ·
37. Assuming it is the woman with the infertility issues ·
38. Telling us to enjoy our freedom now ·
39. Telling us that early miscarriages weren't really babies ·
40.Telling us that we are lucky we don't have kids so that we have money to travel, buy new things, etc ·
41. Telling us how lucky we are to go home to a nice quiet house.
